Pre Mother's Day Freak Out...or Just Another Saturday.

It happens out of the blue as it normally does, at innocent times, down times when you're doing something so daily and mundane that your mind has time or space to wander. The Freak Out. Mothers know exactly what I'm talking about. I have a sneaky suspicion that fathers do too, only to such a less degree that it doesn't even register on any scale. Especially no scale that interrupts a perfectly normal day.

Today's freak out is due partly to Mother's Day that's just around the corner. It happened in the way that was described above. I was making lunch for my daughter which is the same thing everyday: soy chicken nuggets and some sort of veg when I recalled an article discussing the long term affects of soy on women. Horrible things were listed which all boiled down to the fact that some scientists think it messes with the reproductive system. Oh Lord!!! I've killed her baby making parts, and who knows what else!!! Never mind the fact that she is 7, I'm clearly overreacting and scientists get stuff wrong all the time! It's to late however, one freak out leads neatly into one or eight more. And all those boil down to: am I doing this right?!

When doing any other thing in life you can look at it and clearly see if you are doing it correctly. When I'm knitting I can look at stitches and see if they are twisted or dropped. I can't look at my daughter and tell if she's twisted! That doesn't manifest until later in life, right? TEENAGERS!!! How is that even measurable?!

Mothers don't come equipped with any type of manual. Grandmothers may but that's only because they survived our childhoods and have running notes that they have written themselves. I may never know because I may never be a grandmother because I may have killed her uterus with to much soy at an early age.

Even if we did get a manual upon motherhood, I'm sure it'd be at least three pages long with chapter titles such as "The Art of Winging It" and "How to Apply Band-aids, Even When They Aren't Needed".

Meanwhile we're brought back to the real world with the ding of a microwave letting me know that those deadly "chicken" nuggets are done when suddenly I'm reassured, that yes, I must be doing something close to right when two little arms wrap around me and that sweet little voice says "You're the best Momma, I just love you!!" Okay, freak out over.

Happy Mother's Day!! Be sure to call her and remind her that she is the best in the world, you love her, and yes, she did it just right!

Love and Life in the HOV lane.

When you ask people who really know me to describe my interests you're very likely to hear anything. You know for a fact you'll hear something about yarn, but up until last year you know what you wouldn't hear...cars. Yep. Cars. Actually if you were to ask me right now my response would be "nah, not really but John loves them so I notice them more and they are a bit more interesting."

So many things have changed in my life lately I can't even (nor do I want to) list them all: my divorced was finalized, my ex-husband got remarried and already has a new baby...that crazy list goes on and on. I do, however, have someone new who fills so many blanks and changed my question marks to exclamation points. John. John loves cars. John who loves cars and loves me even though I don't.

John and I met on one of those online sites that I probably mention for legal reasons. But I can say it worked. I had my doubts but Jang Soon, the Ethel to my Lucy, encouraged me to do it, and wow am I ever glad she did! In fact while we were talking last weekend the topic of modern day cavewomen and their hybrid car "clubs" came up. Ooops! The question just floated in the air around us: How would my car loving partner respond to the use of cars as weapons to meet men? Well, he'd just better be darn thankful that A) I don't own a hybrid and B) if I did own one I didn't run him down with it because if the opportunity had presented itself, I would have! (Of course he'd jump up worried about fender damage and know how to fix it!)

So now I find my spare weekends, when M is at her dad's house, filled with things such as lunch with other car enthusiasts (where I listen politely to conversations that I don't understand), garages (I can knit in garages!), and scenic drives(where I could knit, but then I'd miss the views)...and I wouldn't change a thing!!! Because when people find out how we met they always ask: "if they approached you to do a commercial for that site where you met, would you do it?". The answer is always a resounding yes! Maybe they can film us driving into our sunset, because that's what my life has become- love in the HOV lane, and we are thrilled to be traveling together!!!